Everything happens for a reason.

Wait. A small word I have come to despise, yet at the same time, am working to embrace. The definition of wait in the verb tense is : 1] to stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens. 2] used to indicate that one is eagerly impatient to do something or for something to happen. Culturally, from the world’s perspective, to wait can be as Long or as Short as You choose to make things Happen. Spiritually, from God’s perspective, wait is a period of time as God chooses to make things Happen. So often, I fight between these two worlds. Thankfully, by nature, I am usually pretty good at waiting. Though if you were to ask my husband, he would beg to differ. I do believe each of us has a different level of tolerance for waiting or shall I say, different levels of patience.

I am walking through a current journey that has me riding such a roller coaster of highs and lows, twists and turns and peaks and valleys! One minute I am calm, trusting, at peace and taking all things in stride. The next, I find myself throwing a temper tantrum to anyone who might listen, which usually happens to be God or my husband and shouting “I can’t wait anymore!” I throw out ultimatums, innuendos [an allusive or oblique remark or hint] and if I don’t get what I want, I succumb to a moment of sulking. Can any of you relate?

I am smack dab in the middle of a Wait Season and let me be perfectly honest, it is not fun. I prefer the mountain tops, the times when you get to plan, prepare and be in the thick of things in making your desires and dreams come alive and real! Waiting allows for; Nothing. No excitement. No joy. No reason for rising in the morning. No bubbles of wonderment coming from your heart. Dry, barren, desert time for our souls. WAIT is a period of time when nothing seems to be happening and opens the door for despair, depression, doubt and anxiety to soar at its maximum.

In 2018, my husband and I found property on Maui and with the help of my mother, was able to make the purchase. A year later, we sold our home in Florida and the three of us moved. Fast forward to 2020, we have yet to build our home on the purchased property and I, along with my mother, have had to return to Florida. My husband remains on Maui and now I WAIT to return to him. Wham! COVID 19 strikes. Quarantine, masks, social distancing and loss of jobs.

How long to wait? When you have a dream or a desire, what is the allotted wait time to see if it will become a reality? When do you strike up another dream or desire if the one you originally had isn’t sprouting forth growth? Could it be it was the wrong dream? The wrong course? The wrong direction?

As mentioned earlier, I am smack dab in the middle of a Wait Season.  I completed, what I termed, a Forty Day Prayer Fast:  July 13, 2020 to August 21, 2020.  My mission was to find clarity, direction and guidance in the way I should go.  I was excited to finally be doing something and anticipated an answer on August 21st.  An answer to end My Wait Season!  I got my answer, albeit, not the one I was hoping.   The answer : WAIT.  Seriously?  Wait?  Yes, as sure as I am writing my story, I believe I am to WAIT.  Let me end by sharing what I have learned during my 40 days of Prayer Fasting: 

1] WAIT:
w = worship God [during times of waiting]
a = acknowledge your dependence on God[ during times of waiting]
I = invite the Holy Spirit to discern God’s leading [during times of waiting]
t = thank God for working behind the scenes and on your behalf [during times of waiting]

2] Wait Expectantly not Anxiously:
Be filled with Hope, Excitement, Joy. Expect a positive outcome and be patient.
Truth be told, I still fight fear, doubt, dread, anxiety and impatience

3] Fear factor:
Replace fear with Trust. Fear has caused me to act out of control, strife with my husband, to doubt God’s best for me and to compare myself with others by saying: “they got their
dream fulfilled, when will it be my turn?”

4] Fix your eyes not on the circumstance but on the one who Loves you and offers salvation

My story is far from over as I move ahead in this Journey called Life. I still struggle with doubts, confusion, impatience, sadness and indecisiveness. There is one thing though that will always remain a constant: God is always faithful even when we are faithless. God is Truth and Life. God will always put out His best for you if you Wait and focus on His goodness and timing. If you allow it and embrace it, WAIT can be a beautiful season in your life where new beginnings begin.

Manna Moment Truths: living for today; relaxing in the moment; based on God’s truths of whose we are!

~t